taking a look back to see the future

well today i was thinking about all the things i have done to keep myself going. i have worked many dead-jobs. i have also tried to go to two diffeent colleges but did not graduate from either one. well i never said that i completed things very well. lol antway whats next? i really need to get myself together. how can i possible want to bring a child in this world and not know where i am in it. i know that i like crafty thins but that has not gotten me very far so far. but i know that i have a purpose so one day everything will come together and i willprosper and shine so bright that everyone will see me for who i am.

A new day

Today i guess you can say it was ok. i am finally over the whole cycle thing which is a good thing. i guess it is just me, but when you are trying to get pregnant everybody else is. But so many of my friends and family would be like i didn't know anybody who was pregnant when they were. Every time i go to the store there is always somebody out there with a big belly. Even though right now i couldn't afford to have a house full of kids, but you can dream cant you. most people who have kids they wonder why anybody would want and go through so much to try and have one. but when you don't have any and you want them its like the chocolate cake in the glass box with no key. you see it and want it, try to put it out your mind and move on but then someone moves the box right in front of you and you cant stop thinking about it. especially when you are married and otherwise things are ok in your life and you are still feeling like something is missing. you cant explain the feeling of sadness you get when your cycle comes(it doesnt help when you know the week is going to hellish. my day will come!!!!!!!!